An Ordinary Seeker
I am a seeker; I have been obliged to become a seeker by the pressure of all that is around me and my circumstances, external and internal. I am by any standard an ordinary person. I am not a thinker/ but I think; I do not have an oceanic heart, but I feel and sympathise; at times, greatly and deeply; I am not heroic, I must confess; often I act because I must; often I lose courage and feel ashamed; even when I dream, I do not act strenuously to realise -my dreams.
I have been living much on the surface; I have heard that there are depths and widenesses of our being, but I am ignorant of them. My psychological existence is simple. A small but clamorous company of desires and some imperative intellectual and aesthetic cravings,-these constitute the empire that I survey; I have some tastes and a few ruling or prominent ideas amid a great current of unconnected or ill-connected and mostly trivial thoughts. I have a number of vital needs, some of which are urgent and imperative. I am not strong but not unhealthy, and I have alternations of physical health and illness. My life has been a succession of uneventful joys and griefs, frequent minor disturbances and vicissitudes. Twice or thrice I had spells of strong, searchings and